Four days of chemo down, three to go including today, and I’m definitely feeling soggy. I’ve just started on my 5th bag of cytarabine, with two more of etoposide to follow this morning. My platelets are clearly suffering, as a small nick with my razor this morning didn’t stop bleeding for a while. Even though my stubble is still growing I’m not going to shave again now. All of my hair should start to fall out again soon, anyway.
I think that I’m unusual in that I haven’t minded my hair loss, nor the process of just letting it fall out. Somehow, shaving my own head would seem like a bit of a defeat for me. I’m not prepared to surrender that easily. I absolutely understand why people do preempt hair loss by shaving, especially if it’s long. I think I would too. Fortunately my hair is still short and thinning so I can get away with it. I’m glad we all take on this disease in our own way.
Just before it got dark yesterday evening it rained. I took this photograph when I was feeling even more soggy then than I do now. Being confined here made me want to run outside and feel the rain, but of course I couldn’t do that. A short while afterwards, I saw a young girl with her father playing chess on the terrace. They were having a great time, despite the weather. I hope whoever she was visiting recovers well.
Something else which is soggy this morning is the only unlaminated notice in my room. You remember, the one for the cleaners in my shower. It now looks like this:
I’m now certain that I’m going to outlive it. A few well-directed jets of water should see its demise in the next couple of days!
Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is on the menu for lunch. I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat very much of it, but I shall try. And maybe instagram it (tjholyoake, seeing as you’re asking) as well.