TMA02 is now just about finished, honest. But I realised as I was writing it I was beginning to turn procrastination into an art form. So here are my top 12 tips for how to put off getting to grips with an OU assignment – all of which I’ve done while ‘working’ on this one.
1. Read your email and if there’s not enough of that, look in the spam folder to see if there’s a get rich quick scheme that could, might, just conceivably, possibly work.
2. Watch Burton Albion lose 1-0 to Oxford United on Setanta. Much as I want Burton to get into League 2, I’d love to watch them on Setanta again next season, which means they need to stay in the conference!
3. Paint the garden fence. I haven’t bothered doing this for years, but I was desperate to get away from the assignment.
4. Run out of woodstain while painting the garden fence, necessitating a trip to all three DIY stores at this end of Derby to get the right colour woodstain to continue.
5. Watch lots of old F1 highlights on the BBC Sport website. Then go to the old ITV F1 website and read James Allen’s blog.
6. Get up early on Saturday morning to work on the TMA and then watch F1 qualifying from China instead. Go Jensen!
7. Get your wife to drop the iron, necessitating a trip to Asda, Currys, Sainsbury’s and then back to Asda to find a suitable replacement.
8. Plant rocket and salad leaf seeds and return to them on an hourly basis to see if they’ve sprouted yet (they have).
9. Re-organise your web bookmarks, visiting every site in them as part of the task.
10. Upgrade your computer’s anti-virus program, necessitating lots of reboots and waiting for Windows to do mystery stuff. (Thank goodness mainframes don’t require this every time you try to change something).
11. Write a blog entry on procrastination and how to do it.
12. Read your email again, someone might have sent you something in the last five minutes. Repeat endlessly.